just another messiah  // sunday 170813

It's become a ritual. Starting on an entry like this, I question myself in the same manner every time: have I done anything at all since the last time I wrote? Slept some, eaten too much ice cream, said hello and goodbye to people - not much more than that, probably. Full of guilt I feel I've allowed life to just pass me by without really noticing. And so, when starting to assemble memories and events to write about, the ever-recurring surprise hits me: how have I even managed to do all this, squeeze everything to fit this short period of time? Jambalaya! It's been a year that sounds like four. Yet again.

A few days after the last entry, our flight to the Euro 2016 in France was canceled and we had to drive all the way down to Amsterdam. Poor designated driver Joe Spyheden! A tiresome but really fun trip anyway, full of foggy memories. We followed it by, two months later together with my youngest bros Alec och Sepp, fooling our father we'd go fishing and instead flew him to see Zlatan's first Premier League match at Old Trafford. Dad got to see his beloved Manchester United for the first time, winning 2-0 and with Zlatan scoring both. Following the script.

         
             s o c c e r   s u m m e r         
            euro 2016 + premier league          
                             
                                 

The rest of the year would properly be tagged with keywords like photography and photography and photography, work-work-work, lots of traveling and adventures. From capturing the chaos in the relatively unknown megalopolis of Jakarta, falling in love with the otherwordly Singapore, experiencing Champions League in Portugal, to patiently photographing sleepy pandas in China. Listing what foreign cities I've visited since I last wrote will become part of the new ritual. Here goes: A Coruña, Aix-en-Provence, Amsterdam, Beijing, Bilbao, Bordeaux, Chengdu, Hangzhou, Hanoi, Ho Chi Minh City, Hong Kong, Huangshan, Jakarta, Johor Bahru, Kaohsiung City, Kuala Lumpur, Lisbon, Liverpool, London, Lyon, Madrid, Manchester, Marseille, Montpellier, Nha Trang, Paris, Porto, San Sebastian, Shanghai, Singapore, St Etienne, Tainan, Taipei, Toulouse, Vigo, Wuyuan and Zaragoza. Next up is Dubai, Japan, South Korea, hopefully a foot in North Korea and then a long, long stay in the new divided states of America.

Unsurprisingly, it's also been yet another year with a big league superabundance of American politics. Prior to election day, I worried about the enthusiasm among Hillary voters, thought that the passion and likely underestimated amount of undetected supporters of Trump, as well as anti-Hillary and anti-establishment voters, would result in a closer election than many of the pundits so unhesitatingly predicted - but I thought Hillary would win, that Trump basically would be considered too unpredictable, unstable, unhinged. To be honest, I thought it'd be over for Trump after the release of the "grab them by the pussy" video, that it would be too much to bear even for many of his strongest supporters. Not least for his huge and essential Christian base of voters that now heard their (already obviously immoral and relativistically liar of a) leader brag about trying to have sex with a married woman with new breasts, hence cheating on Melania he'd just married and who at the time was pregnant with their child Barron.

But God works in mysterious ways - even the white women preferred Trump to Hillary. It was quite the shock to, on election day from the pilot in cockpit on a plane in Hong Kong, hear the news of "Hillary Clinton surprisingly trailing Donald Trump". The feeling among the passengers inside the large cabin was one I'd only seen on film: that moment when they learn the plane has been hijacked by terrorists, or that we would land on a new Earth invaded by aliens. Heads moving, sighs and sounds of upset and shock, heavier breathing, people comforting each other or desperately trying to find solace in their disconnected phones. Felt like the wrong thing to think, but I was reminded of the similar kind of emotional mass psychosis following the news of the 9/11 attacks. It was a changed world, a somewhat modified reality to soon land in. I've seldom felt so imprisoned.

          
o  u  r    c h o s e n          
the one who trumped them all           
a shocked favorite few liked           
paper president in beijing            

And now he's become the most talked about man in the whole world, just as he always wanted. I'm less worried about the Trump presidency than I am about the anti-intellectual climate though, and believe something like this was bound to happen sooner or later, in some form or another. As a society, we're yet to find our place in this new world that I think many consider too liberated and with too many options, too fast, small, manipulative and intellectually demanding not to frighten. Like when we once transformed our agrarian societies to better make use of the new mass production capabilities following the industrial revolution, people were worried about not catching up to the new pace. They complained to the leaders, who in turn told them what they wanted to hear: they promised to make everything great again. Reality, though, remained the same.

Trump will of course be no savior, certainly not among the less conservative, but perhaps at least a good lesson to learn by trying some chaos instead of calm. If not else to let people miss and give another chance to someone like a pragmatic No Drama Obama. Until it all starts over and loops, again and again. The grass sometimes seems to be so enchantingly green on the other side, it might even be magical or placed there by God. A gift of a Messiah.

For me who grew up in a religious cult, this new world is gradually starting to look and feel like the one I once flew from. Tribalism, fake news, contempt for the elite, suspicions about whatever nefarious schemes the other side might be up to, and a strong urge to protect one's own. Flock behaviour, us against them. I believe the root of the problem is a void of something to fight for other than survival and our shallow and insatiable self-promotion, something many of us has been programmed to do and hence now feel missing. We need to believe. And as I often claimed after starting to, about 10-15 years ago, have a healthy relationship with what I was taught as a child: people often see what they want to see, believe in what best suits them. I think most people would agree, at least concerning others.

This is still just the beginning, I think. During our struggle to adopt enough to adequately handle this information overload, the tools for making us feel even more confused and marginalized will be improved even faster. Faked text, faked photos, faked sound, faked video. A fake news world 2.0 even better at exposing our ignorance and weaknesses before we better learn the patterns, learn to see it for what it really is. Hundred years from now, that's how I think Trump's role in history will be described: the man who made us more skeptical, questioning, who made people once again long for truth and someone to trust. Alas, a Messiah. Another one.

         
        m e s s i a h   i n   c h i e f         
            three of my 1000+ photos
           of mr prez, almighty don         
                             
                                 

As president, he's been just as ineffective, deceitful, awless and silly as I predicted. He'll get worse, too. With declining approval ratings he'll become desperate, fight media and whatever inventions that he believes will fire up his supporters even stronger. More hostility, more tribalism, more blame thrown at the enemy, maybe some war. But when a real crisis reaches his desk - one not of his own making and one of which people will suffer - his voters will lose what patience they have left. A year or so from now, I think even his passionate supporters will have a hard time seeing him as someone else than the Don Quijote he is. When more people start jumping ship, more will follow. For many of his voters, I think bombing North Korea feels like more of a thrill, a cool thing to see on tv, than a reality with consequenses. Sacrificing thousands, perhaps millions of Koreans will probably, for some, not be emotionally affecting - at least not before something like the tv sets from Samsung and LG increase in price. And if that happens, we all know Trump will be angry and threaten with retaliation. Bad!

Anyway: time will tell, inchaAllah. My life fortunately looks to be much less captivating during the months to come. Unless either the Man-Baby or Kim Jong-Un and their loyal disciples decides otherwise, I'll return to Sweden with yet another bulk of photos to edit, leaving me with even more to catch up with than I already have. Finishing photos and releasing the since long delayed Elenziah.com remake is priority one, editing the two shot short films priority two. Let's hope that I, for my sanity's sake, will be done with all that the next time I sit down to feel just like described initially. And that I'll be more WRONG than ever. Sad!

...andthesmallerthings

Creative adventures since last entry: It's been photography quite exclusively, some minor writing and designing, helping friends.

50 favorite tunes since last entry: Highway by Ólafur Arnalds, The dark crooked tree by Lovekrafty, Lost by Tim Schaufert & Cashforgold, Near light by Ólafur Arnalds, Fortran drift by Ascendant, Takeoff by Fin2Limb, Init by by Carbon Based Lifeforms, People are friends by Biosphere, Remains by Ascendant, Vapor trail by nExow, Betty's lament by ISAN, Oblivion by M83 ft. Susanne Sundfør, Altostratus by Biosphere, Abiogenesis by Carbon Based Lifeforms, Her goodbye by Nyanara, Probability by Ascendant, Supersede by Carbon Based Lifeforms, In a cabin by the lake by Lazarus Moment, The spoils by Massive Attack ft. Hope Sandoval, I would never say you're fat by Cliff Martinez, Frog by Carbon Based Lifeforms, Love story by SLGLX, Don't forget me when you're famous by Cliff Martinez, Moments alone (Need A Name remix) by Sinerider, Push by Jonatan Järpehag, Neon demon by Cliff Martinez, Gryning by Carbon Based Lifeforms, What are you by Cliff Martinez, Djävulen är by Lusid, Rachel's wire by Biosphere, Overcome by Ólafur Arnalds, Stranger things theme (C418 remix) by Michael Stein & Kyle Dixon, Shortwave by Rephazer, Panta rhei by 4T Thieves, In the face of evil by Magic Sword, Amber by 4T Thieves, Flytta dig by Carbon Based Lifeforms, Butterfly girl piano by Yellow6, Cloud channel by PBS'73, Atlas 9 by Faex Optim, Visslar på vinden by Lusid, Stars of the night by Dynatron, Against the law by Donbor, Solitude and the moonlight by Synthetic Impulse, Jesse sneaks into her room by Cliff Martinez, A light to guide you by Clem Leek, Burned with desire (Sonix intro mix) by Armin van Buuren feat. Justine Suissa, Kinky by Cliff Martinez, Refleksioner by Lauge & Baba Gnohm, Plan B by Maehtelvin and Lipstick drawing by Cliff Martinez.

Three favorite new films since last entry: Dunkirk by Chris Nolan, Trumped! by Ted Bourne, Mary Robertson & Banks Tarver and The Witch by Robert Eggers. 

Five favorites among games played since last entry: Inside (PS4), Horizon: Zero Dawn (PS4), Axiom Verge (Vita), The Witness (PS4) and Batman: The Telltale Series, Season One (PS4).

Something new: The wonderful Shields and Vreta, no longer. You're sorely missed. 

The three friends I've spent the most time with: Earl, Sepp and Johan.

I'll especially remember: The political mania and constant social anxiety; the sudden birth of Allan while I was cut off in shitty Vietnam; Sune risen from the grave; all the great and exhilarating kizunguzungu; playing with the two young Erlingmark tricksters; joyful adventures all over Asia with my big camera gear; the Euros and all of the French notre dames and Hotel De Ville with bros Sepp and Joe; the South Parks back-to-back; being furious at the fave; watching the conventions while taking a paid rest with the axiom; the text message that changed everything; millions of characters and laughs with the folle majnouna; necessary running; Richichi and the Yellow Mountains; the first debate and the boyfriend; "the world's coolest teenagers"; birthday zen in Hong Kong; roaming massive Jakarta like a Hollywood star; Jona and julkalendern glory; Zlatan, dad and the fooling brothers; the talk during coma with the impressive once; the shock on the airplane when the captain announced Trump was becoming president-elect; another Drömelvan, another victory; the loving woman; "this is for you okey!"; how that damn mail affected me at the wrong time; the silent Christmas; the woman who doesn't give up; the days in Stockholm; laughing with the older version of me; Miss Voon; a weekend at the Aray; having lost a true brother; Oscar celebrating Danny; the Trump tape I thought would end it all; the fan and the master of the piano; the many who wanted to meet; a bunch of memorable birthdays; a tired body and mind; loving to once again see beloved Puffy loving the stage; the innocuous baptism with everyone happy; hours lost to Facebook; the forced wife and her little girl; a relatively forgettable Olympics; the adorable as adorable as ever; yawning about my new Switch and the Zelda that didn't attract me; the big funeral where we celebrated and grieved a good man; Klitschko and The Mauler with Julie and The Sebbi; the evening at the broken one's; the girl I directly knew not to be able to stay away from; planning the future for the star of the mafia; fighting SAS and Tele2; when the sectarian friend we worry about made us worry even more; the job situation I didn't want despite constant flattery; laughing at that unreal figure; hurrying to an interview in my too stylish clothes; criticizing the lazy cowards of Sommar i P1 because of Ulf Ekman and once again answering mails etc; building a new supercomputer; planning the next adventure with Joe & Aray; perfectionistically struggling with thousands of photos and just wanting to leave it all behind and start living.

- - -

a familiar excuse, an unfamiliar obsession  // thursday 160609

21 months without an update. Yes, I should be ashamed of myself - you all should. Trying to be a man of my word, the once made and now evidently broken promises in this blog makes it all look like empty words without their man. The addiction won.

Instead of reducing the traveling and, first and foremost, quit involving myself in other projects than my full-length film, I've cloak-and-dagger kept popping experiences and strong-willed been working on other stuff. Photographed the next American president (text om vem det blir här), failed to resist making a few new but smaller short films, met my favorite soccer team, lived through some weddings that almost felt like my own, been very creative writing and taking pictures and doing what I should. All-in-all walking the walk more than talking the talk. Sometimes dizzy.

          
s   y   m   b   o   l   s                   
a  s h o r t  f i l m                      
a  l o n e  p i r l o                  
a  h a p p y  b r o t h e r              

In a less voluptuous way of putting it, I've once again been focused on surviving the gutter of finishing projects. Just when I'm closing in, when I feel I'm about to reach that sort of freedom I've been longing for, something new pops up. And then again, again, again-again-again. It's been like that for four years now. Some have been fun, some rewarding, some necessary, some involuntary and some due to love and friendship.

The one and only excuse for not updating this blog was that my ambition was to finish the remade and quite enormous Elenziah.com first, a site neglected in an even more embarrassing way than this one. We've simply done so much that we're lacking behind in also showing what. Once more it's been lotsa walking, lotsa less talking - and we've gone too far. In the working for about two years, that huge page with most of our films, thousands of photos and lots of other work will be up late this summer though. For me, it'll feel like being let out of prison. And as you already know, it has not been my first time doing time.

Late 2014, back from work at a Champions League game in Athens, some time in Paris and two weeks of exploring small Caribbean islands with friend Picks, the over 10.000 photos I brought home made me feel I'd missed some great opportunities. I'd for long been interested in photography, carrying a dslr camera on every journey the last few years, but now felt I'd hit some limit with the equipment I was using and wanted to advance. Meeting the Juventus players with a Canon 60D and its lousy kit lens, wasting the chance to shoot Pirlo, Buffon, Tevez and the rest of them without the skills nor tech to do it properly - no, I'd never want to end up experiencing something like that again. So as soon as I'd finished orderly work on the chosen ones among those photos, I started reading most stuff I'd find about the best cameras and lenses available, quite obsessively as always. A few months later I'd acquired a comprehensive collection of professional gear, with Nikon's full frame flagship D800, fast lenses in focal lengths from 14 to 600 mm and more additional equipment than needed. It's kept growing and I've kept learning.

         
             p h o t o b e a u t y
            making my work easy
                             
                                 

It of course also made world exploration even more enjoyable. Since the last entry, this restless bimbo have spent time in the following foreign cities/islands: Ames, Amsterdam, Anse Marcel, Athens, Banja Luka, Belgrade, Berlin, Blowing Point, Boston, Brussels, Burlington, Chicago, Columbus, Concord, Cul-de-Sac, Derry, Des Moines, Detroit, Grand Case, Hartford, Îlet de Pinel, Kumanovo, Ljubljana, Long Bay Village, Manchester, Marigot, Montréal, New York, Niš, Paris, Philipsburg, Pittsburgh, Plymouth, Quarter of Orleans, Rijeka, Rotterdam, Salem, Sandy Island, Sarajevo, Skopje, St Louis, The Hague, Toronto, Utrecht and Zagreb. This Sunday, I'll together with bros Sepp and Joe start discovering more of France and its soccer stadiums during the European Championships. If some da'esh prophet wants to visit paradise early and take us with him in the euphoric explosion, I'll try to wave before I leave. Let's hope not - I'm not ready to die before I've eaten some more snails. Escargot, s'il vous plait! Mourir? NON!

          

w o r l d   e x p l o r a t i o n          
postcard from the caribbeans            
walking through brussels            
rain storm in athens              

Working for several media during the World Cup whet my appetite enough to decide on a trip to cover the American elections this year, primarily to take pictures and experience the circus. I wrote independently as well (min nya blogg om det här), was accredited as photographer and got a lot of access to every candidate. I spent time with war veterans, talked more politics than in the rest of my life in total, befriended some pleasant photographers, journalists and Uber drivers, learned the game and to love a bunch of new states and cities. A few weeks in, Hillary and I'd found a silent greeting like two boyz n' tha hood. Cruz observed me cautiously. Christie knew I wished him well and was hence probably reminded of the disappointment we both felt. Bush asked himself what I was doing taking pictures of his shoes. The warm Rubio family knew me as the smiling Swede they'd made a promise. Trump and his crew might've been a little suspicious but treated me well. Bernie didn't interest me much, he never stood a chance and I felt bored listening to him on both the campaign trail and when I followed him to the taping of The Late Show in New York, saying "enough is enough" so many times that I felt it certainly was. The whole experience, on the other hand, made me feel quite the opposite - this is something I'll work with again.

     c  a  n  d  i  d  a  t  e  s
     trump telling about his huge hands
        hillary describing trump's hands
        cruz just being likeable

But it can't be fun all the time. The secret project mentioned in the last entry was a Sommar i P1, a beloved Swedish radio program where some selected people for almost two hours respectively tell their story to a huge audience. I did it my way and was content with it, felt that I managed to give a balanced and humorous insight to my upbringing at the infamous theology of prosperity church Word of Life, Livets Ord, something me and the producers had such different opinions on that I decided to release it on my own (podcastpaket här eller jobbigare YouTube här). No big deal. Being one of quite a few who through the years have been vocal with my experiences, having left that world during my teenage, this exhausted subject still once in a while commands my attention. In connection to some of the latest scandals surrounding them I wrote for SVT (läs här), shared a bunch of arguments in an open letter to their founder Ulf Ekman (läs här), and was a few months later contacted by him to have a long meeting which I also wrote about (läs här eller här). I guess life goes on, additional secrets will be revealed and I'll, quite reluctantly but required by some illusory duty, return to writing articles, mails and arguing with people. Oh well.

With so much happening to the ones closest to me, perhaps that's still what I'll remember the most about this transformative period of our lives: Alec, Egon, Cron and Sepp getting married and/or becoming fathers. I guess they now wait for me to follow, and that they'll have to wait for quite a while. To each his own. I have a bunch of other way less cute babies to take care of first, affaire de coeur in form of projects and musts. C'est la vie.

...andthesmallerthings

Creative adventures since last entry: Working on my photography like insane, been some wedding designer, writing a lot about American politics, designing and working on the new Elenziah.com, shot short films Explosion and Den jag är, writing some other short scripts, releasing my story Om Djävulen ändå blev frälst as a podcast with extras and on YouTube, writing about Uppdrag Granskning, sharing some arguments about the subject and meeting Ulf Ekman, planning the full-length, helping friends.

50 favorite tunes since last entry: Never read him by Cliff Martinez, Sordid affair by Röyksopp ft. Man Without Country, Will it hurt by Cliff Martinez, Eno test by Marumari, Cyclemagic by Faex Optim, Pale skin by Christian Löffler, Miss you by Trentemöller, Dark Souls II: Majula by Motoi Sakuraba & Yuka Kitamura, Any day now by Paulina Palmgren, Psyche (Van Rivers & The Subliminal Kid Remix) by Massive Attack, Nafovanny by Plaid, You know I had to go by Röyksopp ft. Jamie Irrepressible, A stutter by Ólafur Arnalds, With you forever by Chris Wonderful, Compulsion by Röyksopp ft. Jamie Irrepressible, The phantom of us by Yagya, Adflatus by Mark Snow, The journey (Chris Wonderful remix) by Seven24, Lamenta by Mark Snow, The anisotropic universe by Chris Wonderful, Otium by Mark Snow, Reconciliation by Paulina Palmgren, Walkman by Yagya, Gabriel by Yagya ft. Elísabet Eyþórsdóttir, Bring your angel wings by Sebastién Marchal, Farthest star by VNV Nation, Bright moonlit sky by Yagya ft. Esther Talia, I love you by Chris Wonderful, One moment (Chris Wonderful vocal mix) by Seven24, Happy days by Delaykliniken, Behold by Joey Fehrenbach, Refleksioner by Lauge & Baba Gnohm, The future by Chris Wonderful, Runaway child by Joey Fehrenbach, Here she comes again by Röyksopp ft. Jamie Irrepressible, Broken heart of yours by Paulina Palmgren, Assault on precinct 13 main theme by John Carpenter, The house of lost hope by Joey Fehrenbach, Fog (ages cover) by Nosaj Thing, I remember by Joey Fehrenbach, Beltenebros by Joey Fehrenbach, Butterfly girl piano by Yellow6, Confusion illusion by Solar Fields, Waiting for the rain by Yagya ft. Ellen Kristjánsdóttir, Up the hill by Paulina Palmgren, The weirdest year of your life by C418, Semena mertvykh by Boards of Canada, Sly by Massive Attack, Natural noise by Chimerical Child and False flags by Massive Attack.

Three favorite new films since last entry: Boyhood by Richard Linklater, Den Unge Zlatan by Fredrik & Magnus Gertten and Spotlight by Tom McCarthy.

15 favorites among games played since last entry: Dark Souls (PS3), Walking Dead Season 2 (Vita), Dark Souls II (PC), Metal Gear Solid: The Phantom Pain (PS4), Dark Souls III (PS4), Watch Dogs (PS4), The Wolf Among Us (Vita), Life Is Strange (PS4), Hotline Miami (Vita), Bloodborne (PS4), Game of Thrones Season 1 (PS4), Axiom Verge (PS4), Tales From The Borderlands (PS4), Resident Evil: Revelations 2 (PS3) and The Last Of Us (PS4),

Something new: That the photography so completely took over. Another damn obsession... as if I'm not struggling enough.

The three friends I've spent the most time with: Johan, Puffy and Järps.

I'll especially remember: The weddings with all its planning, feelings, complications, joys and photography; Eliah Elenziah; involving myself with the American politicians and the abundance of adventures that followed; six months vomiting and being dizzy with vertigo (damn those ear crystals!); quite perfect trips with Cron; the unforgettable journeys through paradise that taught me a lot; weeks with Elly back where she belongs; the talk with dad that saddened me so; gratefully exploring soul-filled worlds with Joe; breaking down at the gym; the scaringly heartless demands; the long talk a year later that lead to nothing but emptiness; loving tribunalann; Juve staring; russians on Friends with Egon; treating the debates like euphoric events; whatever happened in the bathtub; relaxing by creating artificial mayhem in Chicago; confrontation in her sofa; visiting the perky one; great movies, soda, Girls, Oscars and endless discussions with Puff; listening to good photogs on YouTube, reading reviews, hunting lenses and trying to understand all things photography; worrying about the will-powered ones; celebrating Puffy with Jay and Justice; the chosen words I needed; the dutch misery and funeral; the best soccer friendly ever when Sweden met Iran; laughing with my favorite again and feeling the same old adoration; bringing home the 64" with J-Cam; shooting NHL; funeral for coolest grandma Eivor; the many long walks; the prodigal son; when she suddenly called; the Champions League room with all the italians; the event of Uppdrag Granskning and the following battles; the bad dog who did nothing but lick pussy; sleepwalking St Louis; the old pupil and friend who died; failing with the cool raccoons; celebrating a good shot with Sara, Sepp, Cron and some amazing indian food; the best friend telling me even more about the lies and deceit; the sudden news about the already lost companion; sharing joys with Jay; ending it in the new apartment; and awful hour at Wayne's Coffee; the many extremely wearisome hours of photo editing with summit fever; not wanting the same as the publisher (again); nightly trips with Earl into the 64"; running with Otti; the meetings in Paris; svensexa strike three; the Mayweather-Pacquiao with Sepp and Lunk; hunting geckos; celebrating bros Cron & Egon with the quiz of a lifetime; dancing home through the night; being shut out; the two lovely back-to-back evenings in Örebro and Solna; the impossible dilemma left for me to solve on my own; studying my friend's sickness while she was sleeping; choosing among the pearls; when one wonderful hid and the other one wept; the girl in pink leggings; the lovely day of depositing bottles; the way he lived; vodka and brotherly talk with Kong; M following M; the awful battering of The Mauler that we certainly felt; supercharming "gå till Sverige"; finding the right angle to tell the important story; the week of sleep; understanding it all on the balcony with the temporarily blind; the new soccer team with Sepp and Earl; the tired evening with the three couples; the best one comforting me.

- - -

orange is the new crack  // monday 140908

This spoiled trickster's been having too much fun. Besides the personal joys that I'm constantly mousy about, the recent event distinguishing itself was the World Cup. A tournament like no other, shared with the brothers and friends who once again reminded me I love seeing on such everyday basis. And things directly went my way.

When I in May started assisting Expressen with some Holland expertise, I was the only one in the bunch who even thought that the Oranje would manage to get beyond the group stage. A month later and such a big part of the world, with its collective focus on the spectacle in Brazil, had seen them deliver an excessive thrashing of reigning champions Spain, carried by the duo SuperVan & Robben who on countless images and memes both flew and dove. That 5-1 victory would have been enough for me - honestly I was content with 1-1 at half time - but I was obviously about to be cuddled with.

         s u p e r v a n   &   r o b b e n
              dancing, flying, diving,
                             winning, winning,
                                 winning

Fast forward another month and they'd kept making me fly so high oh-high. Quite anonymous guys like Daley Blind and Ron Vlaar had turned into universal stars, Louis van Gaal was now known as Louis van Geniaal, and they'd gone from underdogs of even reaching the latter stages to winning the bronze, only beaten on penalties. A feel good story lasting for over a month during which I, in addition to obsessively enjoying the whole event together with my team of friends, went from writing for Expressen (läsexempel här) and then Aftonbladet (läsexempel här) to consulting for most Swedish broadcasting media. Just a wonderful experience, yet one I wouldn't even dream of topping. If the prioritized film work allows, I'll at least give it another shot at the Euro 2016.

The rest among the bigger themes in my life are harder to write about without just littering riddles. In the last entry I wrote about a project that, for a few months, took most of my time and thoughts which, unfortunately, still have to be kept secret. I'm really happy with it - the decision makers are hazier. It still stole a lot of my focus, lead to endless discussions and meetings, basically until I felt quite fed up. I'll get back to it though, in some form. Thankfully the summer, with the unbeatable World Cup and traveling Italy - click for photo albums of Naples, Lecce, Pompeii, Bari, Benevento and Rome - gave a welcome vacation from most of the creativity. When I was about to restart that engine, my computer suffered some sort of overheat meltdown that, when alive and kicking again, resulted in tragic deaths of two of its 21 (!) harddrives with three terabyte of projects, photos, texts and similar I, in almost all cases, had no backups for. Every day I realize something's gone. E' la vita.

          
a m a t a   i t a l i a            
a lone cat in lecce            
an umbrella in rome            
a pair of romanisti in naples             

 

Autumn is my favorite season and I look forward to one with lots of writing, a few smaller projects, the usual high amount of birthdays and events, as well as several trips I'm excited about. First off is - fitting, isn't it? - a tour of Holland with my bromance Cron, leaving tomorrow. Tot ziens!

...andthesmallerthings

Creative adventures since last entry: Fighting over the secret project, writing for and consulting Swedish media about Holland during the Brazil World Cup, writing another short, working on a new Elenziah.com, planning the full-length feature, working for Fredens Hus, assisting friends.

25 favorite tunes since last entry: Something in my heart by Röyksopp & Jamie Irrepressible, Latatoo (Lackluster remix) by Sleepy Town Manufacture, False flags by Massive Attack, Everything that rises by Moby, Does it by Tricky & Francesca Belmonte, A case for shame by Moby & Cold Specks, O by Coldplay, The well by Soma Sonic, Confusion illusion (remastered) by Solar Fields, Rise by A-Move, Godhet by Kent & Beatrice Eli, Midnight by Coldplay, The weirdest year of your life by C418, Den andra sidan by Kent, Too few arguments (Lackluster remix) by EEDL, Svart snö by Kent, Alone together by Marconi Union, Mirage by Kent, French connection by Falcon, Oceans by Coldplay, Another's arms by Coldplay, Allt har sin tid by Kent, Gateways to Jambala by Cube and Semena mertvykh by Boards of Canada.

Favorite new film since last entry: Particle Fever by Mark Levinson.

Three most played games since last entry: FEZ (Vita), Dead Space 3 (PS3) and Dark Souls (PS3).

Something new: Officially being one of Oranje.

The three friends I've spent the most time with: Cron, Johan and Janya.

I'll especially remember: The magic do Brasil, the first child of Jay-Puff: Ottar Ottoman Superman Glädjespann Järpehagen-Palmstjärt, loving work (and loving to love it), the election hysteria x2, killing what really was nothing with one I adored, the manic writing before deadlines, the criticism and mauling that kept coming, the evening when the younger sister took over, my favorite-favorite shoes, planning trips like an insane madman, the dance inside, sending my heart on the birthday of the so-far-away but so always-close, Cronan's new home and treasure Emma, finding the lousy editor's awful mistake and trying to tackle it, feeling grateful about my upcoming birthday in Paris, resurrecting the computer but losing most of its heart, the sad mail during all the happiness, calling Aina, the week of running in sunlight daytime and being Isaac Clarke at night, when those martyrs died again, shouting VAMOS LOS TICOS! with the right set of costarican arms, the wonderful Palestinian back in Stockholm, the pretty girl's tears and the news about the end of her life, short mails with the superior, the spontaneous evening with J-Cam & Cam-J, helping release the Caravan brothers to the world, feeling I in some seconds lost a very close friend without her even realizing it, days with Aray, the morning shopping spree that made my stomach hurt, the deep dive into five decades of music and tv for Fredens Hus (and now feeling like a guru), the night nothing worked with Jay & Joe, the big Tico crew watching its heroes defeat the ancient Greeks, the two lovely podcast nerds, seeing the lost friend again, the new version of the young diamond, underrated Rosi and the Malmö FF triumph, spending money money-money, the peeing small-dog yet big-dog but very-very-small-dog, following ever-growing tragedies via American media, the rainy night with the FIFA demo and Sebsin beating me, the extraordinary 7-1 with the German Shield, when little Jenna wanted to shit in perfect circles, the evening celebrating J-Cam, the sudden taunt that made me LOL (på svenska här), the 3-on-3 on the small plot, her show shared, a confused celebration of mister Lyheden, the white trash drama, the epic diary, curing my AC ebola with a litre of tea, celebrating with licorice-raspberry cake and sad enough mostly talking about Ulfman, such a great crew at Crêperie Lemoni and at Sebbi's, when I chose to be quiet instead of being myself, pauses with the moody FEZ, about to sleep when suddenly realizing the damn pod was talking about me, the party for great Ingvild, the two Sophie Marceau and whatever happened, Erling's adventure, that big night in Stockholm that became two strange days, feeling content.

- - -

muted heart  // wednesday 140326

"Listen to your heart", Oprah whispers. Most people in the audience slowly nod, look happy, feel like carpe momentum, carpe diem, carpe everything, from this moment on. Heart? I'm skeptical. My heart is about as dumb and confidence-inspiring as my left knee or the right lane in London. I need a more reliable fix, something like a trustworthy Denzel once said without even slaying someone: "We do what we have to so we can do what we want to."

I wanted to continue working on that full-length film - I didn't. It's been half a year dedicated to many of the things I felt I needed to do before having the right focus, trying to kill off all those distractions like I was an American gangster, a man on fire. I took up something I left early last year, felt I had to do what I at first didn't at all want to do, and even allowed myself to be the perfectionist I needed to be. An inside man. I also felt I had to work a lot and spend much time on planning, mainly because of changing apartments and spending half of december in New York, Philadelphia, Washington and Boston. And a lot of time with friends, one of them attaining way more heart and brain than her competitors. Pretty soon I'll listen to you, dear Oprah. Deja vu. Unstoppable. Glory.

          
t h a t   v e r y   n e w   y o r k         
we walked and walked and         
walked and walked to see it          
(and then we walked)          

I'm sure last autumn will differentiate itself for its several complete surprises, good and bad. The small, red one-second-dot on my precious Xperia Z that - after endless struggles with my operator - led to six whole weeks without a phone, including the gift of silence and oblivious rudeness even on my birthday. Hence a different kind of birthday, a different life altogether - in many ways frustrating, in some quite relaxing - and soon a new phone, a purple Z Ultra mothership, larger than life. I like it.

               p h o t o m o m e n t s
       a wedding, a walk, a photographer

I'll remember an autumn with the load of lovely popcasts from and to the big-hearted, unforgettable slothmother living the not always pura vida. The success of many of my closest friends. The wonderful people at Palliativa Centrum. Cleaning and leaving the apartment I had for over five years. Shrugging about the new one. Missing beloved Frank. Longing for breaks to continue with surprisingly involving Walking Dead on my PlayStation Vita. The many unexpected things that America, Cron and Cecilia had to bring. I'll remember missing to acknowledge that heart of mine, that it actually tried to make me listen. Christmas passed, some nice Olympics passed, a lot of work was done, challenges cleared, and most of it with that heart muted as so many times before.

The natural punishment for such imprisonment is, of course, that I wasn't able to appreciate most of the abovementioned as much as deserved - I too often wanted to be somewhere else, doing something else, or mainly just experience it in other conditions. Not sit in Madison Square Garden after having rushed around on top of the Empire State Building - I wanted back, wanted to eat, wanted to answer that mail.

          

p r e t t y   b r i d g e s        
we saw them, too         

Same old balancing act of not wanting to be governed by passing emotions, a demanding person to be around, yet one in control, feeling free and as the boss of my own life. I'm curious, in need of intellectual stimuli and I don't like wasting time - but there's nothing worse than inauthenticity, when things feel fake. If I sit at Madison Square Garden and feel like I don't want to sit there, feeling that I really should like it will not make me like it better. Heart has control. I understand that it's great, consider the evidence that reasoning, eyes and ears give me, yet know that the emotional value given is the one I'll remember the most. A system that so often is so very unfair. But we've of course all been there, experiencing some great concert, sport event, movie or similar knowing that it's very special, one to really appreciate if the conditions just were a little different at work, different with that less happy friend, without the pressure, without the broken heart, with X and with Y. My skills at this are not at level 99. Damn that perfectionist! And damn the pragmatic, the silencing dictator - damn all of them! Thanks though for helping me towards where I need to be to better be able to show you my longest finger. And then, perhaps, be relaxed enough to lower the finger, carpe momentum and watch some more Oprah shows.

...andthesmallerthings

Creative adventures since last entry: Working on and finishing another secret project, whispering popcasts, planning the full-length feature, playing photographer of a wedding, a theatre walk and in the U. S. of America, writing, assisting friends.

25 favorite tunes since last entry: The weirdest year of your life by C418, Pump by Lost Years, Mute angels by Hammock, Let go (radio edit) by Paul van Dyk, Snap cop city by Pixelord, Flying (in crimson skies) by Marconi Union, Snap by Lost Years, Debris by Steven Price, Storm by Lost Years, Sister, pt 1 by Cliff Martinez, Alone together by Marconi Union, Paper route by Rob Simonsen, Tornado warning by Hammock, Chang vision by Cliff Martinez, Broken colours by Marconi Union, Chang and sword by Cliff Martinez, Semena mertvykh by Boards of Canada, Don't lose your way by Krister Linder, Ask him why he killed my brother by Cliff Martinez, Come to dust by Boards of Canada, Crystal and the bodybuilders by Cliff Martinez, Sod by C418, Reach for the dead by Boards of Canada, Gemini by Boards of Canada and Einfallslos by C418.

Favorite new film since last entry: The Armstrong Lie by Alex Gibney.

Five most played games since last entry: Walking Dead Season 1 (Vita), Beyond: Two Souls (PS3), Dark Souls (PS3), Castlevania: Symphony of the Night (PSP) and The Room (Xperia Z Ultra).

Something new: What isn't?

The three friends I've spent the most time with: Cron, Järps and Puffy.

I'll especially remember: The three painful ends, the week with nothing but writing, the emptied apartment, the long evening sharing the secret with the four at Puffy's, the sleepless 30 hours for the best of goodbyes, pausing life for another popcast, the train station emptiness, the four silver dishes, fine Earl's great 30th birthday, resurrecting the daily diary, living the unique one's adventures, proudly watching and listening to my brothers, uncharacteristically doubting the quality of what I've done, 18 damn hours, "prutt också!", the baby around my neck, enjoying so much time at L, feeling sad for that Nora who reminded me of someone else, easy times at O, the silent birthday and the walk home with the distant soulmate, the careful planning with the pad, organizing the change of apartments, long walks not feeling that long anymore, the extraordinary beauty with some freckles, Olympic ice hockey mania, suddenly being hooked to ANTM, the hectic wedding day as a photographing zombie, being without a phone for six odd weeks, the solo break-up, the ill walk being loyal, the new M being the old M, CNN before sleep, game night at Puffy's, seeing the photo of the best one with the worst one, the too heavy luggage with seven jackets and four pair of shoes, the podcast addiction, sleepless nights because of the repeating pattern, the old diary snippets and photos, loving Gustafsson vs. Jones, my life's weirdest interview, the big leader's change of view and the week of chaos and mail-mail-mail that followed (short Swedish text), a wonderful yet absent-minded new year's eve, the long feedback of different sorts and perspectives, discussing those old school years again, the epic failure to laugh about, prolific nights with one ear-plug, the unfocused Journey and Last of Us, Elly being 13 and me being 14, being so moved by a Walking Dead in my hands, the obsessive world record mail, experiencing a shallow but impressive Gravity with Joe, needed breaks spent with Janinja, pausing with The Wire, nervously watching Sweden fail to qualify for the Brazil World Cup, two relaxing days given to Beyond: Two Souls, almost crying when matching the final tune, the plagued Oscar night that didn't stop us, handling the pressure, the dedicated three weeks living like a robot, cleaning that oven and making the hardest of decisions, the weekend of slaying tadjiks together, tears in the bathtub, tedious Resident Evil 6 with the bro, listening, the Golden Globe shocker, seeing my friend lose it like I'd never seen before, "buy shoes, remember to buy shoes, shoes for C", struggling with the World Cup draw, all the Aschberg, the needed airport lunch at Reagan, the synched break-ups and talks, the girl who really didn't get that she really didn't get me, a new running route, film breaks with Cron, the week of documania, BenGay, stupid Prisoners I couldn't shut up about, "does she have an ass?", the too large black sack of sheer admiration for the one who deserved it, mum's message, the clock towers, Jihde, the walk with J-Cam in the middle of the storm, moments at Beacon's Closet, walking and walking on American roads, "in i måla!", losing the phone at Verizon Center and spontanously telling the story (in Swedish), the hotel experience, "I WANT MY BIG MAC!", Geneva/Genova over and over, the perfect present, loving what my best friend despised, really liking every city, the miracle with Cron in the bathroom, the unforgettable moment in S:t Paul's Chapel, the fourth traveler, killing kilos, "stand clear of the closing doors, please" (sound), historiens vingslag, "is that a phone?", Alec and his pretty girl, rushing at the top, the longest talk, Bäckström and his pill, sharing the secret with my three brothers and then parents, the feeling of being on the right path.

- - -

time did fly and so did I  // wednesday 130724

After attending last year's Olympics, I told myself that I must stop this traveling frenzy and just focus on the projects. The only allowed exception for 2013 would be if we managed to be included on some big film festival with our Superkär. So we did and so it goes.

      a d a m  <3   c a n n e s
      a free pétit étoile (ready for the world)

Cannes for the third time, the first for lil' bro Alec, and we had the best kind of week there. We watched numerous films, met or saw numerous stars, made us look like the fools we are numerous times and hence ended up with a collection of numerous memorable moments, as always. The winner for me has to be meeting favorite actress Golshifteh Farahani, being just in the right mood as well. Now don't you dare forget me Goli, however big a star you become. Wonderful woman.

          
m a j e s t i c   f e s t i v a l      
flashy alec         
flashing cameras            
petit polanski                 

My curious mind wanted more and in typical fashion I felt that the expedition had to go on. We went to Monaco to breathe the Formula One atmosphere, Paris to be a part of Beckham's glorious farewell, we visited Florence, Genova and Ventimiglia before parting ways - me to Pisa, Alec to Vienna. And now I'm planning new journeys, feeling that I really shouldn't. I'm a hopeless one.

               n e x t,  n e x t,  m o r e
           and i just love this kind of living

Apart from all this it's yet again been months full of planning, work, media (of which I recommend the P4 interview with me and Hugo, the long-long talk in Korvcast and the short appearance in Obiter Dictum after minute 49), social events, fixing and helping. Most of it pleasant and somewhat inspiring but I sure long for more creative time alone. Lots of writing anyway, unfortunately primarily secrets that'll probably never leave my disks. I just have too many ideas right now, and too much I wish I had the space for but need to prioritize right down the drain. A few of them will have to be taken appropriate care of though. No rush, still.

...andthesmallerthings

Creative adventures since last entry: Planning and writing the full-length feature, writing on the secret project, writing two long articles in Swedish about a crazy book and about the Swedish film climate, writing a treatment for another full-length, writing on two short films, designing two Superkär posters and assisting Anna on the main one, playing photographer, getting into shape and taking care of myself.

20 favorite tunes since last entry: Come to dust by Boards of Canada, Dave (I'm a real traditionalist) by Boards of Canada, Caera by Helios, Reach for the dead by Boards of Canada, Aftersun by Massive Attack, Puzzle (Solar Fields remix) by Disasterpeace, Homeward by VNV Nation, Gemini by Boards of Canada, Stay by Xerxes & Phoenix, Long to live by Metric, Don't lose your way by Krister Linder, Coyote by Harold Budd, Motherboard by Daft Punk, Mukhinabaht by Boards of Canada, Hope valley hill (Arms and Sleepers remix) by Helios, New seeds by Boards of Canada, Sick times by Boards of Canada, Semena mertvykh by Boards of Canada, Every hair on your head (Ben Boysen remix) by Helios and Nothing is real by Boards of Canada.

Favorite new film since last entry: Amour by Michael Haneke.

Three most played games since last entry: Grand Theft Auto IV (PS3), Suikoden (PSP) and Pro Evolution Soccer 2011 (PS2).

Something new: The new level of wardrobe mania and abundance of shoes.

The three friends I've spent the most time with: Järps, Cron and Alec.

I'll especially remember: Getting there, Oscar and game night with the big crew at Mannemaker's, another unforgettable Skype evening with lots of running, the warming package with heart, days in the Cron cabin with films and faints, the female opposites connecting, a fast game at the new Araya place, the night call from the big thinker, cheerleading anxiety and police badminton flair, dark evenings and nights with Jay-Puff, the Furious Friday, Ego evening with glowing moonchild Elly, the sudden great proposition, enjoying 3D with the Hobbit and the Puffling, animated Richard Parker with animated J-Cam, new manager dominance, my dear friend's affecting dilemma, the actress I just can't decide on, the sucker who stole my identity, CL evenings with the bros, the typical news from the left one's old one, the long-long blog and the sequel, loving the roundtables, the three hour podcast up for grabs, the narration mails, films with Earl, for a while having the distance I know I need, celebrating daddy, Viasat-Linus, seeing the other me on tv, realizing the biggest story might repeat itself, my isolated work night with just mail on the phone, fighting the computer, the lovely christian rapper, our great World Cup at Cron's, the four ready for The Master, the new fave labels mania, the party when I should have stayed home, the second asylum plagues and smiles, my ill bird, the damn covers and posters, the long walk and the interview, party for Early, dentist agony and the laughs with Cron, planning the releases, Papa Francisco, my new PS3 phonefriend, celebrating the mothership in speed of light, another damned discussion, loving to write the crazy story, my short audio pearls, Cannes anxiety, the nightmare passing and the two following, a great house of cards, firma-företag without sleep, the biggest news and the shortest mail, Fridens liljor, planning the adventure with Albatross, the great Kaffepanna, mum's reaction, getting into the mood again, days with Hugo and local media, the future of Elly and the pandino, black vita, pepper place with the girl with the dragon tattoo, Shululu's shitty life with the saturated grass, when she cried and totally won me over, the hilarious voice synthesis, twelve back-to-back, gay Erasure unicorn, mastering the Castlevania whip, the great new workplace and collegues, loving the gift of Tomorrow's Harvest, enjoying Confederations Cup with the new peeps, "sjukt duktig" embarrasment, reporting my travels and getting reports back, the 45 cutest seconds, planning the risky trip, the farewell to my new friend H, the typical trouble with my typical role, the long walks in freedom, Mobil Park, roundtable with sommar-Gidlund, seeing the old soulmate, the bride I knew, the angry evening in the bathtub, obsessing about planning the perfect december trip, laughs and quizzes, the lust and new ideas.

- - -

present tense with madeleine  // thursday 130103

Another year cleared without any severe armageddons (thank you, Mayans!) and time to plan and reflect. Again. I've been compulsively philosophical and abstract this past month - the best evidence of me being tired - and naturally want to continue that trend instead of sleeping. A puzzle-like blog entry sounds like a good start of the year, right? Eller? Hallå!

Let's first go by my normal routine of narrowing down what've happened since last entry though. As expected there were a lot of birthday parties and events, finishing off with something less expected and fun: when I was to enjoy half a day of playing in a soccer tournament with my pink boys, I just a few minutes in injured my knee and had to spend that time having a blast at the hospital instead. Pain instead of joy, lying instead of running. Couldn't really sleep, walked like a one-legged giraffe, soon felt how this damn plague affected practically everything. A neither happy nor sharp guy and I must have gained around 187 kilos - but at least I've been fun for my friends to laugh at when walking. It's better now anyway - my walk style just looks somewhat flamboyant - and I hope to be able to even run again soon. For a happier note I, in the middle of December, welcomed bro Earl-Danny as my new roomie, we cleaned like madmen for an entire week and have since tried to enjoy a better-looking home that I still want to throw away. And that knee along with it. USCH!

          
v e r y   l a s t   o f   2 0 1 2        
a view in stockholm        
a view from the cabin in the woods        
a view of a stupid writer         

Prior to starting on this entry I checked my mail inbox' subject lines to more clearly remember also the smaller things I'd been up to during last year. I smiled at some old jokes, visualized events or recalled laughs and discussions and tried to analyze and structure them from this new perspective. Emotionally I felt affected by almost everything - at times even profoundly. And sometimes just by remembering how emotional they'd made me before, or only by seeing the subject matter or sender's name again. A name with the same characters as a minute ago, a month ago or five years ago, but of course with at least a marginally different meaning and applied value every time. Like with a tune, a photo, a sentimental text or wha'evah yo.

A spin-off of being creative is that I store thousands of these triggers with similar potency as Marcel Proust's famed madeleine cookies: they're at times powerful portals into past situations, feelings, thoughts and eras. Anyone with a cellphone knows what change of perspective there might be in just scrolling through the text inbox, or how mood altering finding an old tune can be. I have 19 hard drives, 1000+ discs, numerous photos, audiovisual material and most sorts of documents filled with this kind of madeleine. One might think having such a digital vault would help me (and perhaps you) to - when in need - sort out a structured, chronological timeline of what have been and sure, it definitely does, but it also occasionally adds to the confusion. Few things are really forgotten, there are reminders of virtually everything - good and painful - and the past gets even more mixed up in time travels than it otherwise would. These digital cookies suggest present tense and hence that everything stays the same and nothing stays the same.

Pretentious crap as always - but also how it feels. Time seems different the older I become, and memories have a tendency to hide around in its own maze just like the clichés hints. What might seem quite insignificant be remembered clearly - what was three years ago feel like a week ago. I have no idea what any of my friends wore when I met them during Christmas in London last year, but I can describe our groceries or my temporary home's bathroom in detail. I have hundreds of strong images from those few days and almost none at all from the first week of January. Nothing strange really - this seems to be how it works and how it'll continue to be. Some memories, people, scars and insights will forever follow. It's okey.

      a  d  v  e  n  t  u  r  e  y  e  a  r
   maybe i'll remember a thing or two

2012 will be sorted as the year when I constantly wanted to continue on the screenplay. I'll remember the struggles of balancing life in general, the wonderful trips to Euro 2012 in Ukraine and Olympics in London, the time-stoppers like that walk, that call, that job place, that smile, and the people I shared all this with. Not to forget the 4-4 and the show of the century by Zlatan, of course! The cookies come in many flavors.

And now it's time to basically just continue - finish the script and then start on pre-production while managing everyday-life, being both as flexible, determined and pragmatic as accomplishable. It's a take-off point for 2013 that feels exciting enough - let's just hope I'll be pleased when writing a similarly confusing entry a year from now.

...andthesmallerthings

Creative adventures since last entry: Planning and writing the full-length feature, writing on the secret project, reviewing Dark Souls and telling the world about Mii Benny U, designing some, assisting friends, trying to function despite of that wretched knee.

Ten favorite tunes since last entry: Not at home by Clint Mansell and Peter Broderick, We move lightly by Dustin O'Halloran, Discovering by Solar Fields, Mukhinabaht by Boards of Canada, Jeezlh by Solar Fields, Default score by Crankshaft, Introspection by Johan Lyheden, Adventure by Disasterpeace, Sixtyniner (Helios remix) by Boards of Canada and You could feel the sky by Boards of Canada.

Favorite new film since last entry: Indie game: the movie by Lisanne Pajot and James Swirsky.

Three most played games since last entry: Dark Souls (PS3), Deadly Premonition (X360) and Fight Night: Champion (PS3).

Something new: Being forced to write a long description, synopsis, tagline etc for the film - and thus sharing the secret prematurely. Just naming it irritated me. After more than a year of complete silence it all felt quite surreal, and quite real as well. It's not just mine anymore.

The three friends I've spent the most time with: Järps, Cron and Johan.

I'll especially remember: A cozy birthday, an absent Christmas with bad timing, a peaceful New Year's Eve, the American election night after so many hours with news and docs and debates, the week of big cleaning and sorting and not using the brain, precious C to Dublin, two long talks on the podcast, writing sessions at the cabin stealing nuts, the bro talk and the sequel, the celebration at Casa Cambronero when I was in coma, the old soulmate struggling, Puffy x3, the day of Gamex and wrestling with the old crew, writing scholarship applications we knew we wouldn't get because of who we are, the typical present, the damn misfortune with Ba and the rest of the fuckups, squash with dad, new city and new applications, two days at Fyrishov, final hours of the ones beside me, memorable CL evenings, the cool one being too cool again, anxiety, the fascinating stupid one who isn't stupid, a different evening with old friend Eva, great mr. Kong and his loved one, first four hours of not playing Wii U, Silver, failing with my fave, the one talk that drugged the young one, new life of Cron, Frankie's calender, the new fast network system, Jay and the challenges, wonderful Najat, 36 out of 10289, mister Mammon's contemplations, the sudden knock, the prima donna behavior, the introspection, loving to explore the quiet Dark Souls.

- - -

dark nights with warm lights  // thursday 121011

So far it's been the kind of autumn I thought it'd be: alone with writing, planning and other similar work, balancing it all with often lovely little breaks. Two months with a very busy schedule, and I've apart from being creative also managed to collect an astonishing amount of memorable moments, frequently reminding me of the divine fall of 2006. For once I even look forward to start on pre-production of a film, leave the soulful thinker at home and transform into the pragmatic doer again. I normally dislike that beast and feel comfortable having him behind bars - now I miss and want to let him loose to go berserk. Let's just first consider the part that requires brain over willpower completely finished. No rush.

            a u t u m n   s t i l l n e s s
                   ssscchhh and be quiet now

October and November always equals a superabundance of birthday parties and events, this year so many I bet there'll be a lot of late decisions on what to attend or not - to continue writing will win most duels. When breaks are needed, it'll of course feel like a blessing to have this amount of options available though. And to have the best of friends to share them with. You, yes you - now go buy me a nice gift for my 110th birthday.

...andthesmallerthings

Creative adventures since last entry: Planning and writing the full-length feature, writing on the secret project, outlining Idioten, designing a poster and minor crap, doing some requested voice work, fighting distractions.

Ten favorite tunes since last entry: Stasis by Helios, Grace by Keith Kenniff, Ett två tre by Johan Lyheden, Dial (Helios remix) by Deaf Center, Super Meat Boy - Can o' salt by Danny Baranowsky, My name on a car by Cliff Martinez, Why don't we by Mint Julep, Make amends (Kyson remix) by Henrik José, Super Meat Boy - Forest funk by Danny Baranowsky and Focus the light by Henrik José.

Favorite new film since last entry: Snabba cash II by Babak Najafi.

Three most played games since last entry: The Witcher 2: Assassins of Kings (PC), Syndicate (PS3) and Walking Dead (PS3).

Something new: Hours and hours of searching clothes and especially shoes, and then falling so deeply in love with one pair of the five I bought that I still stare at them while walking.

The three friends I've spent the most time with: Järps, Elly and Cron.

I'll especially remember: The Tuesday every day should be like, welcoming back Sune, the criminal mindset, the weekend in the cabin with the Elenziah syndicate, swallowing the 37 episodes of L vs Kira and the Death Note, the typecasted persian, magical strolls and evenings with Elly, Mitt vs Barack, that continuing laughter, the Brother Benny obsession, the touching book and the breathing, the Diös tournament, Jay's challenge, the jury duty, the man dying with his hand in mine and slowly fading away, the dream she visited, the stalker's questions, recognizing the extreme beauty eating in front of me, text marathons, the four hour hearing, another timely mail, the one minute interview, the talk, my best friend as tired as I was during the tough day in town, the fancy smancy, absent partying as Snake Plissken, the evening with all the texting, the gifts to Sepp, loving Planet Earth in co-op, the day in Örebro, hating the svenne rhythm, news about Dublin, walking through rain with senior Cambronero in my ear, the stupid little ref meatball, the long Friday evening, the jacket, my typical revenge, the youngsters and their sugar daddy, the Fullerö trip with Jay, Puff and the mothership, lots of Värvet and Overkligt, "love is like a fart - if you have to force it, it's probably shit", the old friend, the one mistake, crafting presents, the fights with my opposite, the wonderful last match with Kraftkällans Kraftkarlar, the extraordinary photo, assembling Alec's computer, the planning with the bitter end, the new brain.

- - -

a summer of spectacles  // monday 120813

Anticipating and preparing, exploring and enjoying, resting and smiling - and then all of it again. To travel with darlings Cron-Joe-Eggi to the Euro 2012 was meant to be the highlight of the summer: we saw Sweden come from 0-1 to 2-1 and yet lose 2-3 against England, we saw Zlatan's magical strike against a lackluster France, we saw the smiling CR7 once again ruin it for my beloved Oranje and we saw a culture and spectacle different from what we'd seen before. As losers, sure, but some has to lose you know and we played that role to perfection.

d e d i c a t e d   l o s e r s       
new match = new chance to lose         

Kyiv was definitely prettier and more likeable than I imagined, classier than Moscow but with obvious similarities, and the Olympic Stadium was the most impressive arena I've ever visited. A great atmosphere in the city as well. Kharkov was on the other hand not that nice, and perhaps more of a "real Ukraine" and hence great to experience and smile about with one's best friends. An adventure with no real dips and of course - as most longer travels do - one giving birth to countless lasting memories and re-laughs. Thanks to tour leader Cron for organizing everything. The full photo album can be viewed here.

               u k - r a - i - n a
          nicer than we'd thought

Quite a serene feeling to continue following the tournament back home again, with the same friends or alone while working. As in 2006, my heart became all Italian and I consider their matches against England, Germany and the first against Spain being the most enjoyable of the championship. The final felt more like a funeral, and having experienced constant defeats for both Sweden and Holland I think I'll mainly remember this Euro 2012 as the miserable one. It took a long while to, along with my orange brothers, leave the arena and find consolation after that damn Ronaldo show. I bet he's still smiling, and all I can do is to dream of an encounter in which I'll teach him a thing or two about it.

Even before the boring Xavi and Iniesta once again proved to the world that they could lift a trophy their own size, I'd started planning a trip to my friends in London during the Olympics. Availability and prices of tickets of course lowered expectations a bit, but just to be there during the opening days and experience it first-hand felt like reason enough. I decided five days probably would be ideal, not really knowing what to do all days.

a   l o n d o n   2 0 1 2             
and what a great design of it all         

Stupid, stupid me - I underestimated my inner perfectionist and forgot how my willpower usually takes command during the few occasions in life when I really want something. I managed to get hold of great seats to the awesome Derren Brown show Svengali, to Dark Knight Rises at BFI IMAX, and pretty much all the Olympic sports I wanted to see - 14 darn tickets.

                 g a m e s
          olympians included

My curiosity beats my interest in sports any day though - the great experience of visiting a beautiful Wembley Stadium with Cecilia and 85137 others had very little to do with the GB-UAE match that was supposed to be the main attraction. Same thing with strolling through the gigantic Olympic Park, visiting or just looking at the venues and arenas, draw in the atmosphere of such a big city where the same theme shone basically everywhere. Or while - which was the initial idea you know - just being part of all the fans, listening to BBC or friendly volunteers and taking joy in their deserved success. I also adored the overall design, even down to choice of colors and the look of small souvenirs, and really want to praise them for a show and organization that surpassed expectations. It started with Danny Boyle's superb opening ceremony and just carried on through. Five short days was something like ten too few for me. Thank you Victoria, tack Cecilia, shukran Najat. Photos album here.

a t m o s p h e r e       
wow  @  venues, arenas, events, etc         

This blog has unexpectedly become something of an itinerary... but enough globetrotting now! The shared adventures of this great summer are over, and now I'm soon to start at the next level on my own. So far so good.

...andthesmallerthings

Creative adventures since last entry: Planning and writing the full-length feature, outlining a secret project, writing a few shorts (I don't want to make), some photographing.

Ten favorite tunes since last entry: Make amends by Henrik José, Der tanz der glühwürmchen by Dominic Eulberg, Mukhinabaht by Boards of Canada, Harmonium by Max Richter, Cities of coal by Reinhold Heil & Johnny Klimek, My advice, pt. 3 by Daniel Pemberton Orchestra, Iconography by Max Richter, VLetrmx21 by Autechre, Organum by Max Richter and Eg else hana (Marconi Union remix) by Always crashing in the same car.

Favorite new film since last entry: Benny's video by Michael Haneke.

Three most played games since last entry: Punch-Out!! (NES/VC), Final Fantasy VI (PSP) and Fallout 3 (PS3).

Something new: Once again being hooked on a podcast - RadioLab. Informative, very creative, well-edited and with great hosts Jad Abumrad and Robert Krulwich, my new fake friends. I suggest finding a topic that seems interesting and giving them a try (with some patience).

The three friends I've spent the most time with: Järps, Johan and Cron.

I'll especially remember: Having a bearded Alecsmander back, 56-3 in soccer dominance, my best friend being as happy as he deserves to be, constant wowing in London and just wanting more, Derren Brown mocking zombie-me, the manic hunt for Olympic tickets, obsessing about the Euro 2012, the long talks and laughs at the night firm, waving the flag and shouting at the lousy Gerell with miss Rogers, the good acting in space, the young brain, loving to work out again, nights with BBC London and the tube map prior to the Olympics, the one I didn't really like, the horror I knew but now saw, Prometheus night with a third party, the train ride so far away from everything but the closest, the odd concert I missed, the flight fight, the day with Sweden-Ukraine and 15-1, the meeting day, when I promised never to find myself in that situation again, the classic craze with Drömelvan, discussing religion at Janya's, the many happy sports moments, the long sofa talk with the reminders, the gift I'd given before, the shopping spree, the storm in the tent while eating those awful muttons, the constant laughing with my bros, the no I took for granted, my soccer bomb, C's work wishes, Rafael's brilliance, Najat and the curry coach, discussing screenwriting, donken at Olympic Park when everything for some seconds felt clear, pumping at the gym and with a shock suddenly hearing a podcast discussion about me, Swedish IKEA with Swedish Victoria, the sms I thought I sent, the day I managed to live through to do good, the betrayal, adventures with different Crompy-Jayhan-Earl and the other sprites, the girl that was either extremely pretty or extremely ugly, the charming old mystery, the idea I just had to try, laughing and struggling with closed eyes during Catwoman-Robin-Batman-Bane at IMAX with a sleepy C having fingers in her ears, the nights of my film and my film only.

- - -

everything in its right place  // wednesday 120516

Collecting ideas and outlining a film is one thing - writing it another. All years of refining the modus operandi of course helps a lot and I feel very comfortable writing almost anything, but writing is not only writing. I knew the hardest part would be to balance life in general, allowing myself to be obsessive about equilibrating, questioning and polishing as well as having to cope with everything outside the .txt files. Write for five hours, socially behave and be myself, write for another five hours and then sleep even though I had flow to stay for yet another five. A mentally tough challenge in many aspects, and an extremely worthwhile experience I'm happy to soon leave behind. But not until I'm completely satisfied - that's the one real objective you know, loneliness aside.

Somewhere in some middle of some something I got some inspiration to finish a one minute experimental short me and Alec shot last summer, and as I was satisfied with that one I managed to puzzle together yet another ignored one. Västerfärnebo with Paulina and Blumoseac with Croner, quite cute but no shorts I have the required desire to promote or find festivals for to be noticed enough. If it's for fun, it's for fun.

                s h o r t    s h o r t s
          blumoseac + västerfärnebo

Spending time on the soccer fields again has been exactly that - pure fun - and obviously even more so when playing with so many of my best friends. Sepp and especially Cron organized it all, I helped by designing our shirts and last Tuesday we premiered our team with a 16-0 victory filled with laughs and brotherhood. Quite the perfect antidote when having spent too much time in a chair working on the script, too alone and too concentrated. That every player is really skilled helps as well. Click to see the whole album or some posters. Totalfotboll!

k r a f t k a r l a r     
kraftkällan + elenziah = vilka karlar!      

No decided release for Superkär yet and we skipped trying with Cannes, something that now when the festival just've started feels quite strange after having been there the last two years. A break will do us good, I hope, and I really just want to focus on the full-length anyway. The only planned vacation this summer is to the EURO 2012 in Ukraine, 15th to 22nd of June with bros Cron, Johan and Emil where we have tickets to Sweden-England, Holland-Portugal and Sweden-France. I'll of course be completely orange and as involved as ever, with the oranje versus my most hated opponents Germany and Portugal being the obvious highlights. Let's hope I don't have to balance anything else than being orange and happy when it's time. Everything in its right place.

...andthesmallerthings

Creative adventures since last entry: Planning the full-length feature, editing and finishing Västerfärnebo, editing and finishing Blumoseac, working on Hateseeker Murderchild, writing a long article in Swedish about my process from script to finished film, designing and drawing some.

Ten favorite tunes since last entry: Request and reply by Polaski, Goodbye by Xerxes & Phoenix, Lines rush by by Reinhold Heil & Johnny Klimek, Rubber head by Cliff Martinez, Hanna im taxi by Reinhold Heil & Johnny Klimek, Calm by Alexey V, Clouds observer by Daniel Pemberton Orchestra, On the beach by Cliff Martinez, My advice, pt. 1 by Daniel Pemberton Orchestra and Flowers for Yulia by Max Richter.

Favorite new film since last entry: Senna by Asif Kapadia.

Three most played games since last entry: Lost Planet 2 (PS3), Monkey Island 2: Special Edition (PC) and Who Wants To Be A Millionaire? 2012 Edition (Android).

Something new: Creating a two hour journey.

The three friends I've spent the most time with: Cron, Järps and Johan.

I'll especially remember: My two screens filled with text, four hours of adoration and love, the new crew, my dear friend performing, the double failure and the prison, the forbidden fruit, the sixth alternative, the weekend of meetings and work I didn't feel for, three weeks as a writer-only, Aronofsky and PTA, the Easter distance, friends Luuk & Lokko, the film articles, Lost and film nights with Jay & Puff, wonderful Kraftkällans Kraftkarlar and 16-0, Järps cute party, knowing Dexter Morgan, the IQ bros, the empty Spegeln with the laughing mothership, savior Joe, reading too well, the evening in the bathtub, repeating the odpods, the silent goodbye.

- - -

obvious theme song  // monday 120130

A new year with a new main theme: to work on the full-length feature. Write, think, be quiet about it, write, think, be quiet about it. I'll keep my hands and brain occupied with other projects as well but the main goal is definitely to move closer to a finished script, gathering of ideal locations and a dream team of artists, a meticulously planned schedule and perhaps shoot and then... well, it's already 2013 by then. The only promise I've made to myself is not to rush it - the important thing is that it'll be damn good, something I'd be happy with if some oracle would lend me her hd crystal ball to watch it in today. Knowing myself, that promise probably means it'll be finished in 2053 when I'm 1000 years old. Okey then.

e n c h a n t e d   c h r i s t m a s       
just like i wanted it         

We enjoyed the Girl with the dragon tattoo premiere, I survived media the next day (tv/radio), rushed with work the following week and then flew to London (the entire photo gallery here) without even having managed to find time to book a hotel. Wonderful days there, much thanks to an equally wonderful Cecilia - what memories! A different Christmas I'll always treasure for the laughters, the idiot, the diaries, for Taiwan, Lebanon and our Nemo. Thanks also to Victoria and to Najat who I spent an unusual 25th with, celebrating with comedy rather than some svennig jultomte. To leave London and get back to a lonely Uppsala was harder than anticipated, but having such a cute family, Johan, Järps, Cron and the rest of the crew felt like the perfect reminder to start 2012 with. Especially when the rest of the first month mainly have contained boring have-to-dos of the most boring sorts of boredom. Oh well.

...andthesmallerthings

Creative adventures since last entry: Planning the full-length feature, working on Hateseeker Murderchild, writing five song lyrics, helping creative friends.

Ten favorite tunes since last entry: Mysterious by Paulina, Disco divertimento by Daniel Pemberton Orchestra, I guess I'm floating by M83, And the sky cried for Nancy by Krister Linder, Infra 1 by Max Richter, Skin of the night by M83, Saranac by Goldmund, Infra 4 by Max Richter, Protection by Massive Attack and Departures by Stereo Wildlife.

Favorite new film since last entry: The ides of March by George Clooney.

Three most played games since last entry: Pro Evolution Soccer 2011 (PS2), Super Meat Boy (X360) and ICO (PS3).

Something new: Letting The Tobolowsky Files be my source of bedtime stories. I've always liked this guy for his genuinity, even had him among my fave actors on an earlier webpage, and after finding this podcast in mid december and listening to every single episode he's skyrocketed back. Great stories told in a great way, about most things concerning the challenges of living. The amazing episode 46 will make you agree.

The three friends I've spent the most time with: Järps, Johan and Sepp.

I'll especially remember: The magical Christmas in London, the taxi and the extreme, home again with Earl, nights at Joe's, the Dragon Tattoo night and the interviews, the crazy Janya sms, the odd premiere with Puff, mum and Cron, new year's night, "ANTOAN!", the damn job, all the mails, watching film again, the new ideas, broken heart, the weekend of songs, the odd date, Spetz party, bank man, diving into the Rubicon, LCHF illness and banned carrots, super tennis, "we have challenge", the American debates, the female mail of great language, the film day, the absence.

- - -

the true talents of mockba  // sunday 111211

Trying to convince myself that I'm taking a creative break has been pretty creative for me, and quite convincing as well. I've watched more film than usual, lotsa soccer, spent much time in Deus Ex and Skyrim, read a lot and written a gazillion of mails. It's been great to feel free enough to voraciously eat the entire Zlatan book from start to finish without distractions, to obsess about the american election primaries and to even invest some time in a manager game again, if only a small web based Sportbladet one instead of some Football Manager death drug. I'm currently ranked 17 out of 8019 so I'm madly yelling at them like Capello. PASS PASS PASS!!!

When in year 2072 looking back at this period wearing some 5D-glasses I think I'll remember it in four major chapters with perhaps the dominant one being the True Talent mania. For a guy who wants to be considered as one of the cool ones it seems quite embarrasing to have spent countless of hours watching and discussing how people sing, every single day. Due to dear couple mrs Puffy-Paulus and mr Joffa Järpehagen I surprisingly cared so much I even cried when she sang this beautiful song to him at the final, ten weeks into the contest. Usch så fint!

a   t r u e   t a l e n t          
paulina 19:30 tv3, and again          

Definitely one of those journeys I easily could turn into a novel, and one that these two wonderful people really deserve to be happy about. Closing that chapter in this novel, the three remaining about this autumn would pretentiously be entitled The in-between, Far, far away but still here and From Mockba with love, where the latter even features some cute visual memories that can be found in its entirety here. I'm sad to tell we never found Soda Popinski ;(

      r e d   a l e r t
        the russians knew we were spies

To explore Moscow with Cronky and Joffa J was just as interesting and full of laughs as I hoped it would be. We saw a different way of living, watched CSKA play both freezing soccer and hockey, admired the dancing elephants of a great circus, stood confused about some of the food, habits and choice of coloring and bought stupid looking souvenirs - coffee of course tastes better in a Stalin or Lenin cup! And to turn 30 in such an environment felt accordingly abstract.

t h e   m o c k b a   w a y         
official color, ruins, tasty e-mail          

Upcoming adventures include an early world premiere for the team of The girl with the dragon tattoo this Thursday, doing some local tv and radio following that. I'll then spend an enchanted Christmas in London before returning to a lonesome reality in which I'll primarely write and write and maybe write. I'm happy I'm at least starting to look forward to it.

...andthesmallerthings

Creative adventures since last entry: Finishing Superkär (aka Best date ever and Ganz verliebt so far) and preparing it for festivals, designing and authoring an Elenziah showreel 2010-11, writing an article about the Swedish video game podcast scene, reviewing Skyrim, recommending some Christmas gifts, planning the full-length feature, giving feedback and assisting lotsa creative friends.

Ten favorite tunes since last entry: Shrine of time (Solar Fields remix) by Krister Linder, So this is what it feels like by Stereo Wildlife, One cycle (more) by Lackluster, Walk on by by Paulina, Alberta by Goldmund, Don't look back by Paulina, Attachment by Stereo Wildlife, Brown creek by Goldmund, Like what I see by Paulina and Computer weekend by Karsten Pflum.

Favorite new film since last entry: By the people: The election of Barack Obama by Amy Rice & Alicia Sams.

Three most played games since last entry: Skyrim (PS3), Deus Ex (PS3) and Pro Evolution Soccer 2011 (PS2).

Something new: Being the so-talked-about 30. I don't like it but don't yet know how to cheat.

The three friends I've spent the most time with: Järps, Cron and Sepp.

I'll especially remember: Feeling like a true talent without being one, the russian adventures, skrajping, the record of achievement I couldn't stop reading, Alec's globetrotting, all the Premier League and the manager obsession, the invitation, me and Johan celebrating 111111 just as we'd promised, the co-op mission with Cecilia, the draw, Juve starting to be Juve again, "JAG ÄR INVALID!", the crazy Champions League evening with Sepp, the comments, UTK tennis, planning Christmas, being tired of designing, the Deus Ex pause, too much Fringe, Dorchy, all the blurays, the wonderful day with C in Stockholm, "såg säg hursa, erkänn", me and Järps being shockingly stupid, losing the damn luxury, the tired surprise, the awful shopping, Sweden versus Holland.

- - -

15 months later  // wednesday 110928

Welcome to a new world - my world. Or my new www homepage on the web of internets, if that's how you see it. I really tried to make it easy this time, work in all browsers and resolutions and be simple enough not to have to update frequently. On mobiles and pads you'll have to know how to scroll to use it like intented, or blame me for not caring enough about you. I'm a terrible human being.

The last entry on my former homepage told about our first visit to Cannes, media attention and how much I was looking forward to follow my dear Holland in the soccer World Cup and then go all-in on the next big short Så söt hon är - jag tror jag är kär. Holland deeply gladdened me by reaching the final, and pretty soon afterwards life was all about the short later renamed to Superkär and Best date ever internationally. A great crew and a beautifully blessed shoot, followed by almost a year of meticulous post-production.

       s h o o t i n g   s u p e r k ä r
                   lotsa stress, laughs and joy

We also spent a weekend in september shooting and finishing He told her four times, an odd comedy which suprisingly got us to Cannes a second time. A few days before leaving we, in the middle of may, hosted another "Elenziah night" here in Uppsala, this time at its biggest cinema Spegeln which hadn't had as many filled seats since the Avatar premiere. I felt magic in the air, a serene happiness among all wonderful friends and collaborators, and the relaxed celebration until six in the morning was marvelous. There's nothing better than the fellowship the creative journeys sometimes bring. Love goes out to Alec, Järps, Cron, Tess, Olof, José, Mkrtt, Maja, little Hugo and all the rest who made it what it was.

e l e n z i a h   n i g h t   ' 1 1          
full spegeln + happy crew          

Sadly I was way too overwrought and sleep-deprived to enjoy Cannes as I should have, especially when the crew with me were best friend Cron, funny Janya and diamond Tess. We didn't see too much of the festival and even though my brain and actions constantly reminded me I needed sleep, I didn't listen and laughed a lot instead, sleepwalking visited Milano, Lake Como, Nice, Geneva, Monaco, Tess' fabulous Montreux and our new favorite Roquebrune Cap Martin, and even more. An overload of unforgettable memories of most sorts, good and bad. The flight instructions, the magic bottle, the sussi, the pain, the threat about jail, the walk, the obsession, the two serving Swedes, the perfect and the most idiotic. A trip that probably never will be beaten and that I could write many novels about.

   t h e   t r i p p y   t r i p   o f   t r i p s
         half of europe in less than a week

Two months later I went to London to mainly visit Cecilia, had a great time with her and a one of a kind evening with Najat and the Laassila sisters. Next up, me, Cron and Järps will fly to an adventure in Moscow, one of largest cities in the world I know very little about. My curiosity approves. We'll play russian roulette and look for Soda Popinski in every dark corner we find.

Superkär is still waiting to be released and I've in the meantime worked on a number of projects, heard about my old The perfect hour being shown on weird places like hospitals and a cruiser, been planning the next big thing as well as finishing this page and remaking the Elenziah.com one. I also had the enormous pleasure to work for my since long fave David Fincher on The girl with the dragon tattoo here in Uppsala, obviously quite the thrill for a curious one like me who've seen his masterful Se7en over ten times and heard countless of interviews with him. Cool guy, and cool to watch and try to learn as much as possible about his process, and even be a tiny part of it.

Apart from a few other fun adventures, like a some meetings and events in Stockholm and a week on Fårö, it's been a year of an overabundant time in the editing programs, so damn much I'm bored enough to consider moving to a jungle in Gambia just for the action. But what would I do there, except building big monuments from the bananas and coconuts? Damnit! I feel let out of prison anyway and will treasure my time before some project makes me return. It'll have to be worth it, that's for sure.

Having started from scratch with this page meant that I said goodbye to the old blog, but not without giving it a shot of immortalization. If you want to backtrack through my three years prior to this blog, you can find a pdf of it here. Thanks for reading and hope you'll see each other again, you and the internet.

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