A COLLECTION OF POEMS / EN SAMLING DIKTER 1996-2007 --- you were in there somewhere , sad big e y e s, listening, trying, showing teeth and small hard fist . a new t r y, revenge everlasting second inseparable and lovely . thought i had you there , found the one, waited for, e v e r l a s t i n g pure seconds. just not for me, and not for you who will finish it? --- Vem är hon att älska? Allt eller inget. Hon är min. Högst upp, ojämförbar. Min enkla uppgift att älska varje punkt av. Hon och jag. Vi. Något mer naturligt finns inte. --- There was this black rose on my shoulder. A dark, beautiful mark made of pain. A symbol of deceitfulness. You were so afraid of me. You knew my powers, felt so insecure about being worthy enough, so unwilling to give me the chance to kill you. I had no control over you. I had no weapon. It's so easy to cry over you, just fall into an empty nothing where only you exist. Where I can see you, try to understand you. Where I can make you comprehend how damn much I love you. The rose will never bleed again. It will stay with me, remind me of what I did. It will forever remain dark. Your NME. --- What world am I in, this one without you? How far can I go, as long as we're not two? I walk with your legs, I see with your eyes. I try with my heart, I change by your cries. You're not there, you're not there. --- Together, searching, so connected. So free. So safe. Like children laughing, running, flying, alone in a beautiful cave. One mind. One goal. One truth. Oh baby, everything we would be. --- Försök förstå den som inte förstår dig. Lyssna på den som inte lyssnar på dig. Se den som inte ser dig. Förlåt den som inte förlåter dig. Glöm inte den som glömt dig. --- The loneliness you feel, the problems you face, the words I concede, Oh the killers, the killers. The dreams you have, the hope you carry, the honesty I read, Oh the killers, the killers. The soulmate you seek, the love you earn, the chance I plead, Oh the killer, the killer. The heart you ignore, the passion you distrust, the desire I bleed. Oh the killer, the killer. --- Meaningfulness is always the key for being happy, knowing what to strive or live for is necessary not to feel crappy. Meaningfulness requires concentrated dedication, a big exclusion of your everyday-life masturbation. Meaningfulness is always in need of a self-delusion, making you able to stay out of all confusion. Happiness is often a destructive force when gained, shutting off the truth that might not keep it contained. Happiness makes you question less to stay where you are, a new realm is shaped where you always are the star. Happiness is often the feeling that turns you into a complete fool, constricting so much you're no longer a living being but just a tool. --- Her face forms in shadows, the eyes killing light. Her mouth speaks unholy, laughing with no right. Kill her for what she knows, rape her for delight. Break the whore slowly, humiliate her for the night. --- A place, where we both felt calm. Your hand, inside the two of mine. A day, when you were so sad. Your heart, so hurt and slain. My will, just to help you through. So woeful, with tears all over. My hope, never to see them again. So unbearable, holding you much closer. Our eyes, drowned in each other. I hesitated, unwilling to take part. Our lips, slowly met. I failed, only to hurt you even deeper. --- Falling from myself, I see, I try, I struggle, I lie, tumbling even deeper. Hoping to change, I search, I sigh, I ponder, I die, wishing to disappear. --- Quietly, she sat down in the loneliness. Her inner voice told her to give up on life, her life had no true meaning. Slowly, a tear appeared in her eye. Her eyes took no notice, her heart and soul controlled her mind. Suddenly, she cried out in pain. Her feelings were let out, her anger and hatred was shown. Furtively, a consolation entered her life. Her problems was to be shared, her life was to be taken care of. Strongly, she fell in love with her savior. Her life was filled with happiness, her surroundings felt wonderful. Affectionately, a true love was to be her future. Her life was filled with plans and pleasure, her life had a true meaning. --- Travelling without soul, looking for you, visualizing light in darkness’, hoping for you. Childish joys making me sad, remembering you, letting powerful tears flow, missing you. Yearning for some loneliness, spent on you, pretending happiness was here, even without you. --- Som en ängel uppenbarade du dig. Som en ängel såg du på mig, dina himmelska ögon rörde om i mig, ditt vackra leende skar i mig, din blick förstörde mig. Som en ängel betedde du dig, din underbara utstrålning rörde om i mig, ditt kroppsspråk skar i mig, din röst förstörde mig. Som en ängel såg jag dig, din ljuvliga personlighet rörde om i mig, ditt gudomliga utseende skar i mig, din fulla individ förstörde mig. Som en ängel kommer jag alltid att minnas dig. --- Du finns alltid här för mig, och du vet hur mycket jag älskar dig. Varje dag vid min sida utan att svika, och vi är nästan inte ens lika. Du har allt min kära, din skönhet kommer ingen ens nära. Jag vet att jag alltid kommer att älska just dig, och när tiden kommer, så vet jag att du inte kommer säga "nej". Även fast du ibland verkligen fattar noll, så vet du att jag älskar dig, min kära lilla tennisboll. --- [written 1996-2007] http://www.elenziah.com/morph nme@elenziah.com