Seldomly asked questions like someone really asked them. Someone has. Once in a while it happens that I get a mail without any question at all from someone who claims that I'm a disgrace who should burn in hell or that he or she loves me, that I'm their brother. Some even give suggestions on how to change or what to do with my life. I'm of course thankful for all help I can get in this world and answer everything, even when unfamiliar dudes give me advice on where to buy Cialis, Viagra or enlarge my pennies. No I don't answer those - I just lied. Usch.

An honest question, a deceitful answer.

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Where can I find your homepage? Is it on the internet or the web?

Yes.

What programs do you use?

Notepad and the Adobe suite. And Winamp.

How can I send you my e-mails? Is it on the internet?

Yes, [email protected] is my password.

Why don't you make a normal page/film/pie instead of this strange thing no one recognizes? A homepage should have one button with all the answers!

Because I'm not normal. I once tried to be normal and they all laughed.

Why do you joke in public lol? Don't you understand that people will not take you seriously and think you are strange, crazy, stupid, weak, dumb and also the scum of the earth? I've seen you be normal! Jag blir så besviken på dig.

Typiskt.

Where can I find your films? Can we show it at our something-someplace?

You'll have to mail me and I'll be very friendly.

What do you want with your films? Is it to win a golden statue of a lion?

To create perfect seconds in lasting trips you'll want to replay. Those are the films I like to watch as well. A great film should give you something new every time, and be good in all aspects: story, acting, pacing, audio and visuals.

What's your favorite film among your own? How many do you like? I hate them all!

Me too! I don't want to change much in 9732 and Superkär though and consider Den sanna människan too long but underrated. I feel that He told her four times, A heart of blood and Gå mot rött ljus overall are what they were meant to be, but sadly made with crappy equipment. The perfect hour, An apple away, Kärleken and Ronny och det lilla has some moments, a lot thanks to the music. Perhaps even Absent and I give. The rest of the over 50 not mentioned have some good soundtracks or acting and not much more than that. It's all about taste though you know, or as we say in Sweden: smaken är som dajmkrysset or similar.

Why do you write in Englishes when you are from the Swedens? Nu vet jag ju inte vilket land du kommer ifrån längre!

För att inte begränsa mig mer än nödvändigt och för att de som är nyfikna nog att orka läsa (sån här skit) oftast är samma människor som är vana vid engelska. Mamma tycker dock att det är synd.

What do you say that you work with? I feel confused. Are you a designer or writer or a film? What are you!

I make most of my Swedish dollars by sitting down, so you can call me a "sitter". If I'd want to impress someone, I'd lie and say I work as an insurance salesman. Or bee farmer. Maybe some combo.

What job career do you think you'd be best suited for?

If I wasn't this very careful not polluting my soul, I think I'd be great as a movie-like defense attorney, obsessed about collecting info and conscienceless playing the jury. But as I'm conscientious I think I'm more fit to be great at something like being an unemployed bum.

Do you want to work on my project?

Is it about reversing time? Piggelin? Mail and pitch me.

What would be your dream project?

Openly loving the girl I love.

What kind of weird adventures have you been on? Have you ever done anything strange? What anecdotes will you tell your grandchildren while they are busy with not listening?

As a Swede I'm not allowed to state anything that might seem boastful. Instead I'll one day have to write a fat book about all the odd things I'm to blame for. They're quite a bunch. Poor parents!

Do you know any secrets?

The world will end in 2009.

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